The past few weeks were very stressful. It seems – I carefully whisper – that things are calming down a bit now. I’m wiping the dust off my worktable and sit down to work, but then I just sit there being very, very tired. I’ve considered taking a daytime nap, but so far I was too stubborn to give in to the fatigue. Not very clever, for today I realised I am probably just prolonging “the tired phase”. Isn’t it frustrating how much energy stress consumes? I mean, the reason for the stress is usally bad enough as it is already…and then a certain period afterwards you’re just too tired to live life with wings that fly.
I also have to admit that moving “back home” has affected me more than I’d expected. I’m not home here anymore and I don’t feel like I belong here yet. The hubs is doing acceptable with social interaction at work; the kids are having their share at school and are doing very well give or take a few hickups. But working from home and not having my daily friends and within reach feels deeply lonely.
While I made the above sketch, I wasn’t thinking about it much. But when it was finished, I recognized the painting as an image from my life. A woman dancing alone in the woods, or trying to.