For some time now, there’s been so much on my mind that I find it hard to journal and publish.
Drawing was a really good activity to slow down and relax. But some days it’s too busy even to draw.
I feel I’m at this point in my life again, a crossroads, where I must choose which way to go. My head is filled to the brim with lovely dreams, ideas and plans. But I can’t do them all. A lifetime simply doesn’t last long enough. And besides, I think I have learnt that I want to enjoy what I do as much as possible. So no juggling with handsful of plans at the same time. Then there are also issues that need to be dealt with. I’m all grown up now, heading straight for the midlife crisis (perhaps we can best dive straight into it and have it over with!) and I’m beginning to feel time pressing. Do you know the feeling that there’s something you really must do in your life, but haven’t been able to do yet? A hard step in your personal development? Well, that’s where I’m at.
Sorry for beating around the bush so much and speaking in riddles. But as much as I like communicating with the outside world via the internet, there are certain things of my life that I want to keep private. And for what I want to get across, I don’t need to bother you with too many details. I bet by now you all have your own issues springing to mind. And that’s good.
There are just those times in your life.
Well, I’m learning to accept that if such a time has come, it takes time, effort and energy to progress. And I’m learning to be curious for the steps that I am going to take. Curious to find out how my life’s going to unfold.
And even though my head’s too crammed with all too many thoughts about all too many things to journal, I’m very sure that it won’t be long before I sit myself down in my studio and get going again…unable to stop. ‘Cause that’s what usually happens after a vacume…then comes a time when all the lessons and the outcome of such a process seek their way onto paper and make me do numerous pages a day. Right now I can’t wait to feel that urge again…
Note to self: Patience, Mandy. Patience.