Everything in life comes in seasons.
Everything comes and goes.
Literally every single thing.

Serpent stars or brittle stars in hand

I’ve known this for as long as I can remember.
But I only truly began to understand
when one day along the shore
I found hundreds of dead serpent stars,
thousands, even.
Being close to a nuclear plant
first I thought that perhaps
the water had been poisoned.
But looking the serpent star up in a book
I learned that they come in seasons
and go in seasons too, in masses.

It is that time of year again.
The end of the year has come
although my end-of-year
has been here
for a while

Abstract landscape in Nitram liquid charcoal

Last October Doc called
to bring very bad figures
and four weeks before we knew
if the news was as bad
as the figures said it was.

Confronted with the fragility of being
and the horizon as close as the tip of my nose
time stopped.
Little held importance.

The ground beneath my feet
felt like quicksand.
My year was over.


Late November Doc calls:
the figures were wrong.
Human fault.
I was more than all right.

A stiff drink
The horizon back where it should be,
in the distance.

I could breathe again.

beach in Zeeland

In the quicksand
most had lost meaning.

So I gave myself time
to get out
And moment by moment
time brought clarity, order, inspiration and energy.

So I am beyond ready for the new year.
And have been.

I long for my work.
It’s been long.
I’ve missed it.

But first
we have a few festive days ahead
closing the year past
welcoming the arrival of a new.

Art supplies to experiment

This year I had a very special end-of-year celebration: a package of art supplies with stuff that had been on my wish list for a long time. I made a little video of the unpacking. I intend to do little (or big, knowing me) art videos about them.

Liquid Charcoal

What I was most curious about, was liquid charcoal because I thought I might combine that both with drawing and watercolor techniques. I got a 50 ml tube by Nitram and my first try proved it was different than I thought. I filmed my second try and compared it to Daniel Smith Lunar Black to show the difference. And then I filmed a little demo, sharing the experience. I haven’t yet finished the editing of the demo (X-mas holidays have a way of being busier than you think beforehand), but I do have a first video for you about some of the characteristics of liquid charcoal now:

New Year

I’m about to wrap this blog post up, but with the New-Year’s celebrations ahead I first want to wish you a very festive New Year’s Eve.

happy new year's illustration by Mandy van Goeije

And of course I wish you a very happy and fulfilling 2020. That you may find your true desires and a way to fulfill them…

ps: general notice

This blog post has been written according to a new plan I’ve had for my blog. Due to social media I haven’t spend much time here lately and that’s a shame, because this is such a me-place that I’d like to live in it as my online home more. So I’m going to blow life back into it. If you’d like to be kept up-to-date about my blog posts, you can either subscribe by RSS or via Bloglovin’, or you can sign up for my newsletter and then you’ll receive word of every new post in your mailbox automatically.